If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I am posting the most recent draft of a short story I am working on, in hopes that I will get some critique on the work.

I gotta remind you all that everything in this blog, including the file I am about to link to, is copyright 2006-2007 Jt Hollister.

Now that is out of the way, so here’s what I’m looking for on a critique.

Storyline – Is it enjoyable?  Does it fit together as a whole?  Does it need more dialog or action?  Is it dissatisfying?

Beginning – Does it catch and hold you attention?  Are you hooked?  Do you want to read more?  Do you have any suggestions of what would make you want to read more?

Prose — Is the writing easy to follow, and pleasant to read?

Anything else, other suggestions, I am open to.  I want you to critique me harshly.  I won’t get my feelings hurt.  I will take your suggestions seriously, and in most occasions will probably change something based on your suggestion.  I appreciate all who are willing to help.

Background: A science fiction short story about a young woman named Jequnar who comes upon a terrifying discovery.

DOWNLOAD NOW! (I fixed the link)

Please stop holding all people who smoke marijuana responsible for the actions of a few extremely, extremely stupid people.

The number one piece of supposed evidence I have heard from global-warming supporters is “it’s irrefutable!” But this isn’t evidence at all! It is a deliberate cop out, as a matter of fact.

I challenge the media to include actual scientific evidence for global warming. And I’m not talking about statistics — Al Gore gave us plenty of those. I’m talking about testimony from well-known scientists. I’m talking about debate clips between two opponents. Because the fact of the matter is that Global Warming IS a debatable issue. Your evidence up to now IS refutable.

I agree that alternative fuel must be used, but you’re all dancing around the core issue. “We” have known for a very long time that gasoline is terrible in many ways on our environment, even if global warming is not included. I’ll leave that up to debate since both parties are backed by a strategy of presenting bogus statistics, little-known scientists, and claims of irrefutability.

But the core issue here is much simpler. Gas is bad for the world we live in. Although many will make claims that gasoline is only good to our economy, I will have to go out on a limb and say it’s doing a hell of a lot more harm than good.

It is breaking our pocketbooks, and though this may seem like an abstract complaint, it is nevertheless vital. Gas is something everyone needs, which means massive sums of money are thrown into it every day by the common consumer.

True, some of this money is fed back into our economy, paying for employees of gas stations, but much more of it is simply handed over to other nations in exchange for gas and resulting from the general flow of society today (with most goods being produced in either China, India, or Taiwan). This results in the funding of terrorism, by the way, which is one of the government’s strongest contentions against marijuana sales, but I won’t go into that.

Still more of the capital produced by gasoline, however, goes into the pocketbooks of a certain group of individuals which remains veiled to the world. The total wealth of this group of individuals is unknown, but it is certainly many, many times that of Bill Gates’. Although Gates remains the richest man on record, it is well known that there are those with more wealth who refuse to have their names released, and with good reason too. If America knew the sort of scandal behind these massive heaps of money, I’d like to believe they would react.

Alternative fuel sources already exist. The problem is that these anonymous people would not like this to be known. They would like so much for it not to be known, that they will kill (and have killed, many times) to ensure that the secret is kept.

I have an acquaintance who does some work for the government, and whose name I will not disclose. Some of the information he or she shared with me was classified, and he or she could be punished severely by our oh-so-just government were it known who let the slip. However, this person shared with me details on a functional prototype of an engine which ran off of saltwater.

While I do not remember details of this engine to the extent I was initially provided with, and would perhaps be unable to convey them if I did remember them, I do remember the way it worked. The device would require a very small amount of saltwater to be added a few times a year. It leaves a very small amount of water behind, and no pollution. It is able to exceed speeds of modern vehicles. It is very simple, and technology would have allowed its creation decades ago (and probably did).

Aside from this development, which as I understand was to be used only for classified objectives (why???), I recall an individual who witnessed a functional car which ran purely from newspaper! I am not sure on the logistics of this one, as I was not there for the presentation myself. I was also told later by this individual that the demonstrator had been killed in a “tragic” accident. I am inclined to believe that this was a murder committed in the service of furthering already-wealthy bank accounts.

Based on this information, it is obvious to me that the core issue of global warming (oil) is a threat. I am not clear on whether global warming itself is of any concern, since no one has made any credible argument on either side. However, I can say that the root of the problem: gasoline and subsequently, oil, is being relied upon far too heavily in this society. It is vital for the alternative fuel means we have already developed to be made mainstream.

How can the United States be outraged when nothing is done to prevent September 11, yet even more unwilling to accept the War on Terror when it is entirely to prevent such an event from ever happening again?  How can so many oppose the war when the war is so fundamentally vital to the very existence of America?  We will send a very clear message to the world on the day we withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan: “America is unwilling to protect itself.”  That is the message we will inevitably send, but with far more implications.  It will communicate bluntly that if you slaughter our people, we will not retaliate.

This is not a war on Iraq, people!  Too often people call it that!  This is a war on terrorism, and no, that is not an absurd idea as so many have made it out to be.  There is no other possible name for this war.  This is not a war on any given country, in fact this war includes campaigns to rebuild countries.

And this is certainly not a war on Islamics, or a war on Muslims!  Any rational citizen understands that the religion is not responsible, and that in fact it is the extremists who pose a problem.

“War on Terror” tells the world that we want to stamp out those responsible for our nation’s current state of insecurity, while “War on Iraq” tells the world that we are attacking an extremely disadvantaged country with no provocation.  Indeed, it labels the U.S. a dictatorship, when in fact the opposite is true: we are setting up DEMOCRACY!

This is not a war that is won by bloodshed, although unfortunately that has and will continue to occur along our path.  This war will be won when all of the governments supporting terrorism are transformed into freedom-loving countries, as great as America but with a very different culture.  And in order for this war to be successful, we must not back down, and most importantly we must be patient.

This war has the potential to do great things to the world.  It can be a disastrous war which ultimately leads to WWIII, or it can be a slow but effective war which brings peace to countries long overdue for it.  The latter can be achieved by continuing the course set by George W. Bush, while the former will be achieved by withdrawal of troops, be it immediate or otherwise.

Give it time, America.

Good Reading by the greatest Author to date, Orson Scott Card.

I said I wouldn’t blog today. But my parents are still asleep and I’m wide awake, so here goes.

I found what I believe to be the greatest animation ever made with Flash (although I’m still not completely sure it was made with Flash, it seems it must have been made in some 3d program and imported or something…it’s unbelievable). It was put on Newgrounds on December 17 and already it’s in FIRST PLACE OF ALL TIME! It’s impossibly amazingly astoundingly good. And the music is quite catchy too! You’ll have to view this one.

View the original at Newgrounds

While we’re on the topic of impossible Flash work, take a gander at www.2advanced.com when you have a chance.

Hey guys,

Merry Christmas. Happy new year. I’m sorry I skipped out on you for the last half of December. I don’t believe in New Years resolutions, I believe they’re a form of procrastination. I’m going to start now at trying to blog every day when possible. You probably won’t see me tomorrow, but after the 25th there’ll probably be several things to blog about. As it stands, I’ll let you in on my progress with Star Chores.

It’s a spoof of Star Wars, as I believe the name implies. Rather than ramble at you, I’ll let you see what I have done. Keep in mind this is a very rough cut, and not much of one at that. It’s only the first very small scene and a tiny bit of art from the second. The audio can get loud/quiet in parts, and the movement is lame at the moment.

The programming is also poor, what there is of it anyway. The buttons are makeshift, they are easy to confuse, I apologize for that. They are also hideous, however they are seasonal The SWF is too big for the blog window, but luckily it doesn’t stretch the whole page out, it will just hang off the side a little (sorry if you have to make your browser a bit bigger).

Enjai.

This concept, art, design, and animation is all copyright Jt Hollister (LuminousNerd) 2006-2007. This audio is all copyrighted to its respective owner with rights to Jt Hollister for use in Star Chores only, with some being royalty free effects taken from Newgrounds and/or FlashKit.

Today is a special day. Today is the day the bill of rights came into effect on the U.S. constitution back in 1791. Unfortunately, many, if not all, of these rights have not been adhered to. Allow me to explain quite frankly.

First amendment: Freedom of speech, press, religion peaceable assembly, and to petition the government.
How is this not followed, you might ask? There is no freedom of speech when there are companies and factions of the government willing to assassinate you, should you say something that could lose them money. Kevin Trudeau is a good example of this. He says it on every infomercial: he isn’t allowed to publicly disclose his ‘cures’, since the FDA says only drugs can cure disease! Naturally it follows that the press is not free to disclose this fact to the public (yes, I’m probably breaking numerous unenforceable laws by telling you this), and the government will hear no petition against it! Yes, my friends, people have disappeared for attempting to spread the truth!

Update: There is no freedom of speech when the FDA waits for you to spend $3 million on a wise business investment, and then pounces on your business for having a controversial (and brilliant) name like Cocaine.

Second Amendment: Right for the people to keep and bear arms, as well as to maintain a militia.
But not without being considered a terrorist organization…I don’t want to say a whole lot on this issue, as I admittedly do not have a lot of facts and haven’t researched it in depth. But I can tell you this: our right to bear arms is being attacked every day!

Fourth Amendment: Protection from unreasonable search and seizure.
What a joke. Yes, it may be our right not to be searched, but the truth is this: if a cop wants to search you, he’s going to do it. Because he’s got a gun, and chances are you don’t. There have certainly been unpunished instances of pigs cops forcibly searching vehicles, persons, even homes. However, more often than not, they gain your consent by lying to you. They will tell you that your sentence will be shorter if you cooperate. They will tell you that you won’t even be punished if you cooperate! But it’s all lies, and they may be legally bound to tell the truth while in uniform, but no one will ever do anything about it — at least, not the way things are headed right now.

Sixth Amendment: Trial by jury and other rights of the accused.
The key here is that you are supposed to be given a trial by an impartial jury. This is never the case. Juries are assembled by researchers who are paid to find out who will likely vote for what in any given event. These people have access to our private lives, and should we be the ideal jury member, from their standpoint, for a trial that they particularly want to win, we are theirs. And the one being tried hasn’t got a chance in hell.

Eighth Amendment: Prohibition of excessive bail, as well as cruel and unusual punishment.
If only our forefathers had been a tidbit more clear on what cruel and unusual punishment was, exactly. I could go on all day about things that are certainly cruel, but increasingly less unusual, that are being done to people for things that ought not be illegal to begin with. But since the definition is so shady, I shan’t bore you with my mere opinions.

Now, in one way or another, I’m sure the rest of the rights are being broken. I have highlighted the ones I feel particularly strongly about. My only purpose in writing this is to help you feel more aware of the dire situation our country is in. I won’t pretend I have a bad life, or that our government is a terrible dictatorship. It’s simply a bureaucracy; run by money and power. It is not the worst of places to live, and the economy thrives. But if you enjoy freedom, I hope you are not content to sit and watch things like this continue to happen. America is not the land of the free.

A while back I had a few packages coming in over several days. I got a bit confused as to which was which, and I mistakenly asked my dad for help tracking down a package I had already received. That night, when I discovered the final package in our living room, I apologized to him for having wasted his time.

This evening he came into my room, and made the remark, “So you were the ‘young boy’? It would have been nice if you’d told me”. He was making reference to the fact that the UPS deliverer had commented that a ‘young boy’ received the package. I began my response, “But I did tell…” but was promptly cut off. For the next few minutes I listened to a lecture about how much time he had spent trying to help me out, and how rude it was for me not to have told him. More than once, I was able to say “but I did tell you…”, but that was about all he let me get in.

Eventually he got angry and stormed off, leaving me to fester in my room. Then my mother comes back, “why can’t you and your father talk?”.

“You saw pretty clearly what happened.”

“Yes…you couldn’t talk!”

“Exactly…he comes in here..” Just then dad pulls up behind her. I turn back to my computer screen. I was willing to talk to mom, but not to him just yet.

But I wouldn’t have a choice. He crammed himself inside my room. “All I wanted to do was point out that it would have been nice if you’d told me you had it.”

“And I’m just saying that if you didn’t hear me, that’s not my fault.”

“Yea, that’s all you want to say! You don’t even want to let me talk, you just want to immediately push the blame on me…”

“But I told you that the package we found in the living room was the one we were…”, or at least I had hoped to get that much out. Unfortunately he cut me off very early in the sentance.

“See, you’re doing it now, just like always! Won’t even let me talk, just immediately push the blame on me! Just like always!” Then he stormed out of the room. I laughed for about a minute after that last remark. It is the absolute purest form of irony I have ever encountered! For him to interrupt me to blame me for not letting him talk? And to rebuke me for blaming him, when in fact I blamed no one, but rather just the situation?

To be fair though, he didn’t get to hear that part. He didn’t listen long enough for it before attacking me incessantly.

Thanks for the irony cartoon goes to the Red VS Blue Blog. It doesn’t necessarily relate directly, but it is definitely ironic.

Logisys has now let me down on three occasions, with two different keyboard models. I shall never again purchase a Logisys-branded keyboard. It pains me to type this blog, for I do so on my shiny, beautiful, non-functional keyboard.

I will first mention that I absolutely love the design. The colors are great, I like the black bar, the small amount of buttons on the top (too many media keyboards are overcome with masses of buttons). I also love the slim design, and the entire look of the keyboard.

However, I did not purchase this keyboard as a decoration. I purchased it for a functional keyboard which would allow me to type. I can’t believe that people still make keyboards that don’t work! It goes against all standards.

Imagine a normal keyboard. Now make the tab key smaller, shift the whole top row (qwertyuiop) over a half a key. Now make the backspace key tiny and move the |\ key up where the backspace belongs and make the enter key into a massive chunk that takes up roughly half the keyboard (I speak figuratively…).

It’s impossible to work with. I reach for the “w” key and I get a “we”, because that whole top row is misaligned with the rest of the keyboard! And the backspace is so small, that when I go to correct my error, I turn the “we” into a “w\”!!! To make matters worse, the space bar works about 80% of the time from the right side, where I normally hit it. What is the point of the space bar taking up so much space if only the middle of it can actually be pressed, anyway?

I am perturbed. I want a keyboard that works AND looks good! Alas, I may have to resort to dropping $80 on the DAS keyboard II! No, the black won’t match my silver and blue look. Such a pity, as I am sure that keyboard types like no other The keys are all in their proper, standard spots! And the fact that it doesn’t have the letters written on the keys is an added bonus, since, if–and ONLY IF–the keys are placed properly (which they are), I have absolutely no need for looking at the keyboard.

*Le sigh* Someone find me a keyboard?

I’ve got it! I have never experienced a Mac keyboard that I didn’t like! Perhaps it is time for me to find out how I like a Mac keyboard on a PC?

I should mention a couple site updates I have made. The header has been modified slightly, reducing the amount of fonts. I believe it will make it look much nicer. Additionally, I have added a ’snow’ effect temporarily, for the holidays Normally I frown upon this kind of thing, but I noticed that the additional load time was next to nothing and the snow is very subtle. The effect was dug up from a library of WordPress plugins at www.wp-plugins.net. It is called ’snowy’.

That’s it for site updates. Tomorrow comes a special blog for December 15, the anniversary of the bill of “rights” (I think you can tell where this is going…)

Peace

P.S. You’ll have to excuse the awful graphic.  It was created in a grand total of roughly 23.7 seconds using MS Paint.