Cocaine; The Legal Alternative

7. January 2007

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Cocaine energy drink

There’s a new energy drink on the block.  Cocaine.  The real question is how long our oh-so-awesome government will stand for it.  Of course there are immediately claims of the drink corrupting our youth and even accusations of Cocaine being a “gateway drink”.  But the truth is, Cocaine is one of the best energy drinks I have ever had.  It does what it says it is supposed to: it gives you energy.

More importantly, Cocaine is one of the first energy drinks that does not contain high fructose corn syrup!  It also omits several other terrible ingredients! This energy drink does not provide a crash like RockStar and Red Bull, my previous favorites.  This energy drink is good for you!!!  So of course the government will want it banned.
I obviously hope that the drink continues to be allowed in this world, but I know too much about our government to think that there won’t at least be an attempt to put them out of business.

My suggestion?  GO BUY COCAINE!  Make it so valuable to the economy that it can’t be made illegal!  Show your support!  And while you’re at it, have fun with the extreme energy boost and mild euphoria that comes with massive amounts of caffeine!

Tags: Hippie, Funny/Amusing, Hippie News, Conspiracy, Politics, Cocaine Energy |

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Post contains 11 comments. »

  Derek commented on January 8th, 2007 at 2:37 pm

I bought his drink the first week it came out. I drove to Jamaica Queens for it. It took about an hour for it. I was so excited to try it wen i got home. I bought 2 cases of it and when i tried it i was so happy. This drink is the only energy drink that actually makes you wired. There was no crash watsoever. This i byfar the best energy drink around.

  luminousnerd commented on January 8th, 2007 at 7:12 pm

Agreed :) thanks for the comment!

  cocaine energy drink commented on January 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am

well…. if you ever really tasted it you’d know it tastes like rotten ass.. simply disgusting … but it does have a huge energy kick…

  luminousnerd commented on January 19th, 2007 at 3:40 pm

Dear sweet baby Jesus, you’re so wrong! It tastes divine!!! :P

  Driver commented on January 22nd, 2007 at 5:38 pm

booya! I bought a can from my friend for the weekend and it was just amazing. It tastes really good compared to other energy drinks like Red Bull and Monster. It really kept me going throughout the night like I wanted. Good blog btw luminous. I plan on buying a case in two weeks after my paycheck comes in.

  luminousnerd commented on January 22nd, 2007 at 11:33 pm

Welcome to the Cocaine Cult, Driver! :D Thanks for the comment on me blog here. You a regular reader?

:) Peace

  Chelsi commented on January 30th, 2007 at 9:48 am

Yeah this drink is pretty kool! I WAS an addict and now i just drink tha drink and do what i do! Itsa great!

  Chelsi commented on January 30th, 2007 at 9:49 am

♥I love it♥

  luminousnerd commented on January 30th, 2007 at 11:55 pm

Thanks!

I’m fixing to make a pyramid of Cocaine cans and post it! Gotta finish up my 20-pack!

  fadi commented on February 3rd, 2007 at 2:23 pm

great article..hope to see more soon

  luminousnerd commented on February 3rd, 2007 at 2:48 pm

Thanks fadi!

What articles would you like to see me write, specifically?

Thanks

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